In this novel, the narrator talks about food, cookery, gay sex, plants, gardening, sex again, Chinese history, archaeology and antiques, ageing, death and sadness, joy of living, pornography, love and more sex, with the same enthusiasm of a child who is eating ice cream for the first time. These disparate subjects are dexterously woven into a coherent story like the colourful threads in an intriguing free-form tapestry. As you turn the pages to discover a fawn under a papaya tree in the backyard of a terrace house in Aljunied, the best way to eat a White Flower mango, bejeweled tai tai's playing mahjong in a mansion on Mount Pleasant Road and talking about sex , the biggest tiger orchid on a small island, semi-satisfactory substitution, a bevy of black busily buzzing bees among a sea of yellow flowers reflected on the newly polished surface of a cherry red Mercedes, Hongshan Culture, the oldest prehistoric dildo discovered in Germany, a case of severe carat deficiency, the taste of crispy vegetarian spring rolls from Zen Fut Sai Kai, home-made pineapple tarts from Joo Chiat, tau sa piah from the Tian Temple, kueh tutu from the New World Amusement Park, and mahi-mahi in Hawaii, the hunkily hung men the narrator had explored in Asia, Europe and US, the trampolinist that got away, the septuagenarian who owned Chinese paintings with imperial provenance, the differences between the cocks of Oriental and Caucasian men according to Rick, the excitement of being wanted by a hunk who has a gigantic cock, the pleasure of finding true love and true lust, Guān ware, Gē ware and Jūn ware, a fish and chips dip made of fresh pineapple, water chestnuts, mayo and ketchup, polyembryony, chilling and heat injury in ornamental plants, crackle glaze ceramics, antique engravings, sound advice on gardening, Carl Linnaeus, the joy of baking and eating butter cookies and banana bread, a Chinese wedding banquet in the 1970's, the association of abalone with the first Emperor of China, a purplish pink ornamental cabbage at a funeral, Hollywood Road in Hong Kong, sinophilic sodomitic expatriates, a 76kg neolithic Chinese jade sculpture of a pig, dim sum, Buddha's hand citruses and a plum jam recipe, you will likely smile from time to time and by page 10, feel glad to have this book in your hand. The following are the chapters in the book: 1. A fawn under a papaya tree. 2. Eating durians with the aid of dentures. 3. Tree-ripe mangoes from a garden with blue hydrangeas. 4. The mightiest mineral for his mistress. 5. Archaeological aspirations. 6. How to steam a whole chicken. 7. Algebra and pickled green chillies. 8. Tau sa piah. 9. How to spend $43. 10. Eating a chicken neck impressively. 11. It could have been worse. 12. Fragrant white flowers in the moonlight. 13. More than 33 manifestations. 14. The biggest orchid on a small island. 15. A soup to remember. 16. Nitpicking. 17. Hunkily hung. 18. The money shot. 19. Crackle glaze ceramics. 20. Imperial provenance. 21. A tiger in the living room. 22. Pineapple tarts and angbaos. 23. Crying at an altitude of 13,000m. 24. Every man should have one. 25. Leek and fat choy. 26. Lying in bed with my soles exposed to the ceiling. 27. A tale of two lobsters and coconut ice cream. 28. Balancing himself on one foot in the squatting position. 29. Sinophilic sodomitic expatriate. 30. A nine-course Chinese wedding banquet in the 1970's. 31. You can't live without them. 32. Antiquities on the run. 33. Keeping his hands to himself. 34. Happiness x 4. 35. Missionary impossible. 36. Calling mom for a recipe. 37. Let there be debauched gardeners. 38. A nine-course vegetarian birthday dinner in the 1960's. 39. Where no fingers have gone before. 40. One did, the other didn't. 41. Dim sum. 42. Then and now on an antique street. 43. A purplish pink ornamental cabbage. 44. Chocolate-coated macadamia nuts. 45. An old woman sold it to me. 46. Something sweet. Appendices I and II.